Friday, February 10, 2012

My Love - XOXO

Valentine's Day reminds us of the things we hold near and dear to our hearts. As this February 14th approaches I have found myself reflecting on all the beautiful facets of love I feel in my life. The various ways I feel love in my life range from the gigantic chunks of obvious pink diamond rocks, all the way down to the slightest shimmer of a single eye shadow sparkle. Whether big or small, all of the ways love is expressed is meaningful and incomparable to any other feeling.

The largest most obvious pink diamond rock of love in my life is of course my husband Ryan. He is my best friend. He listens to me. He goes out of his way for me. He advises me. He motivates me. He inspires me. He understands me (or at least does a great job pretending to). It's really quite fascinating- The big things he does to make me feel so loved are often expressed by the tiniest of actions. He'll take out the garbage. He'll bring me or make me dinner. He'll pass me a Tums in the middle of the night. He'll drive so I don't have to. He blow dries my hair. He tells me I'm beautiful when I feel disgusting. He acknowledges the work I do and the things I accomplish. By his loving example, he is teaching our son to love, admire and respect me. Yep, Ryan is my very large extravagant - sink straight to the bottom of the ocean  - pink diamond.

My sweet little Elijah-bug. *deep sigh* He is one of the best teachers I've ever had. In a recent Sunday school lesson at church we read in 2nd Nephi Chapter 4. In the beginning we read and discussed how parents are held responsible by God to teach their children, "[...]love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens [...]". -The Family - A Proclamation to the World.  Then a few minutes later we went on in the chapter to discuss how knowing our own shortcomings can lead us to despair but as we recognize the Lords blessings in our lives we can replace despair with hope. And the scripture 2 Nephi 3:13 especially screamed out at me "And out of weakness, he will be made strong [...]". So now you're thinking - okay Sara 2 seconds ago I was reading your blog about loving your son - where the heck are you going with all of this?? Well let me tell you! Here's my thought process behind all this. In the last month Ryan and I have had a super tough time trying to get Elijah to go to sleep at night. We have spent hours each night attempting to reteach him how to go to bed, stay in bed, and fall asleep. It's been excruciatingly difficult for us. We have followed countless pieces of advice to no avail. We go through our standard bedtime routine every night. We have tried adjusting his bedtime hours a few times. We have tried giving him zero attention or interaction while he is inappropriately still awake. We have tried lots of love, discussions, & attention during his tantrums. And we've tried a little of something in between. And I can't even begin to describe the feelings of inadequacy, frustration, anger, then guilt after especially rough nights if I lose my temper. That Sunday school lesson made me realize something incredibly comforting: my son is teaching me to be a better person! Through this experience and time of opposition, I am learning to be more patient. I am learning to try new things and ask others for help. I am learning to be more loving and more compassionate. I am so thankful and fortunate to have Elijah in my life. He shows me he loves me in such sweet innocent ways every day. I love him so much!

Okay now onto the lighter more fluffy loveys in my life! I love my dog Mercedes - she is the best snuggle buddy ever! I love my mom - she is a bit crazy this tax season time of year, but the work ethic and big heart she has toward her clients is inspiring. I love my brother and sister in law - they are so fun to hang out with and it's awesome that they randomly show up on my doorstep for no other purpose than to say hi and to do nothing together. I love my in-laws... they are those people in my life I know I can call at any moment for any reason and they will be there for me if I need them. AND When they're out of town it makes me appreciate them being in town so much more. I love my dad and step mom - what great examples they are to me that you can change anything about yourself if you put your faith in it. I love my extended family and friends - every person and relationship is unique, and every single one shows me love and gives me the opportunity to reciprocate love. I love Jamba juice & Cinnabon - what would I do without you when I'm running late to work and need to redirect my co-workers attention to something more fun than my tardiness? :-) I love photography & Kodak gallery - they provide me so much happiness and endless hours of productive (sometimes wasteful) enjoyment. Since I've been pregnant I also love 7-11 - their Slurpee's make my back-achy-bath time so much more fun! I love decorating things - my house, cookies & cakes, parties, my blog - really doesn't matter what I decorate just as long as I have something to decorate, I am a busy happy girl. I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - so many blessings being part of this church and of course eternal happiness. I love working, shopping, and all things shiny and sparkly.

So there. My Love Love Loves. Happy Valentines Day. What do you love???

XOXO - Sara