I Choose the Right

I recently was called to be the Primary Secretary in our ward (LDS - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints). This month we are preparing for our sacrament meeting program, and I was SUPER excited to find this awesome "Choose the Right" personal statement. So awesome I had to share!!

Found at: http://primaryinzion.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/ctr-program-invite-page-1.pdf

via:

http://primaryinzion.wordpress.com/2012/09/10/children-inviting-teachers-coaches-neighbors-to-primary-sacrament-meeting-program/

Our baby girl Evelyn: a birth story...

I know, i know. Everyone always wants to tell their birthing horror stories, and you've already shown bravery in reading this far. Well the day Evelyn was born was pretty exciting for us, and since this is my webpage I will write whatever I want.

It seemed like an ordinary Thursday on April 19th 2012. Just a few days after tax season had officially ended, I  went to work as usual - showed up late, and worked til 5:30pm. Daniel informed me when I walked in that today was "The day". "I wish!" I told him. After work, I picked up Elijah from Mark & Sharon's house (Ryan was at work). Starving, I picked up some eggrolls and Elijah fell asleep in the car on the way home. I carried him in, ate my dinner and began to feel a little back pain. Now please keep in mind I'd been feeling back pain off & on sometimes accompanied by random contractions so this time really seemed no different. I decided a nice warm bath would help.

AT 7:54pm I texted Ryan, "I just had 3 contractions really strong about 15 min apart.. Will see if it continues... I'm taking a bath - I'm in pain. youch!"

AT 8:08pm Ryan texted me, "Sounds like a plan keep me informed :-x"

AT 8:51pm I called Ryan and said something along the lines of, "SO I might be in labor - I'm not really sure... If you leave work a few hours early & come home now, will you get in trouble at work we find out I'm not really in labor?? I want you to come home but I'll feel stupid if it turns out this is false labor". He said, "No Sara it's fine. We are slow I'll just come home now." Okay. Ryan is on his way home from the airport. I hurried & got dressed, woke up Elijah got him dressed & made sure my hospital bag was truly ready to go.

AT 9:06pm-9:12pm I called Ryans parents, Daniel & Katie, and my mom (who was with her new BF Matt). As I was desperately trying to control my out of breathe voice and intense cramping, I told them all the same thing I told Ryan, "I might be in labor, we're probably going to the hospital. Ryan is on his way home now". To which they all asked if I needed help, or wanted them to do anything for me. I said no and told everyone not to worry about it until we could find out for sure. LOL then after each call I took about 30 seconds of time to scream some ouches, hold my abdomen, and continue to reassure Elijah that mommy was okay.

AT 9:14pm Ryan got home and Daniel called to offer help coming to the hospital and watching Elijah. THIS is when I realized I was in real labor. I was trying to climb into our new tall SUV talking to Daniel telling Ryan I was okay, and the look on Ryans face as I was all in pain and breathy said it all. It was the kind of look I get all the time from Ryan that says "oh Sara you really aren't thinking clearly".... hahaha. So Ryan took the phone and finished talking to Daniel while I tried to breathe and realized I needed drugs for this kind of pain.

AT 9:30pm(ish) Ryan drove up to the front doors of the hospital and said, "well I'm gonna drop you off here, not sure where the maternity ward is exactly. I'll meet you in there after I park". doh! guess i should have walked in the hospital to jog my memory where the maternity ward was in relation to the front doors.

AT 9:32pm(ish) I waddled my way to the front of the line of people waiting to talk to the night guard of the hospital. I didn't have time for common courtesies like waiting in line! I demanded to know where the maternity ward was to which the faces of the people in line softened. He told me which way to go, and told me to wait & he'd call for a wheelchair. But I was already waddle-stomping off toward the elevators as I hollered back to him, "no thanks - i don't have time for that!"

AT 9:40pm(ish) I was pushing the paperwork back at the maternity ward lady saying I really didn't have time for that ish! and said something like, "I think I'm in labor. It hurts a lot, can I get an IV and drugs soon please??" To which the lady calmly told me I'd have to be examined first. THEY WERE TAKING FOREVER! So slow and like they had all the time in the world. Finally I went into an exam room shed my clothes as quickly as possible and the lady asks me to pee in a cup. ARE you freaking kidding me!? okay I tried. but not really. Ryan came into the room - OH THANK Goodness he was here to be my advocate. HA!~ Just as 3 racecars come buzzing into my feet courtesy of Elijah. oh dear.

AT 10pm(ish) The triage nurse came in and said she was gonna take a look. As her head came up she looked confused and in more of a hurry. "Uhm Sara you're dilated to a 7 or 8 and your baby could be coming very quickly, we need to get you an IV and checked in to a room." NO ISH! I thought. Politely I believe my response was, "okay, can I please have some drugs and an epidural as soon as possible PLEASE?"

AT 10:10pm-10:45pm PAIN. and more PAIN. some humor. Daniel & Katie were first on the scene. I'm screaming and begging for drugs and I see them walk in front of my bed. Katie's eyes revealed her sympathy for me, and she half waved and hurriedly grabbed my poor little WIDE eyed and spacey looking Elijah who was sitting just a few feet away from Ryan and I. They quickly directed his attention elsewhere and took him out of the room. A few minutes later Ryans parents & my mom arrived, Mark looked sick and a bit uncomfortable in the room I was spreading my legs and screaming in. Elijah wanted Nana Krystal's attention so she stayed out with him most the time. Sharon offered a quick hug and asked if she could stay- Sure! I really didn't care what happened during those moments as long as someone was either giving me drugs, or getting an anesthesiologist in there. FINALLY the guy arrives apologizing that there were 2 or 3 other women also in labor (well at least someone was getting some pain relief that night). As soon as he sets up his horrific tool kit on a tray next to me, I feel my water break. Aww Sh!!!! I exclaimed (as I reflect on this whole labor I realize Ryan's mom probably saw a whole new side to me that night- lol).

AT 10:46pm The nurses said all the usual BS "Sara you can do this!" "You're a strong woman we can tell". "You got this!" "It's okay to scream, just push!" AHHHHH!! I'm like, "You don't know me. I'm not strong like other women. I can't do this. I'm not strong. I need drugs." Of course they said it was too late & baby would be here any minute and I just needed to focus on getting her here. So I did. I forced Ryan to hold still and act as my focus-point. Boy I loved him so much in those moments. And I knew how much he must love me. To be able to stand there and look into my grimaced face, messy hair, fading makeup, and my eyes revealing my intense pain. Yep that's true love right there.



AT 10:49pm (about 3 hours after first signs of labor) My sweet little new baby girl arrived. We welcomed her to our earthly reality and held her so warm and beautiful. Ryan kissed my forehead, and held my hands as they wrapped around my new little baby. The nurses congratulated me, my family members felt more comfortable coming back into the room. Elijah met his new sister. And I fell in love with my daughter.


AFTERWORDS....
Baby slept well that first night & so did we. We were reminded of the routine that goes along with having a new baby around. And Ryan and I spent the next 24 hours trying to determine what her name should be out of the list we had previously come up with. We agreed that Evelyn suited her best. And sometimes we call her "Evie" like E-V, like her initials! We also gave her the middle name of one of my grandmothers: Lyda (pronounced like Lie-duh). That little girl sure has a lot to live up to with a name like Evelyn Lyda Vendshus!

EVER AFTER- aka NOW:

She's getting big fast. She's already holding her head up pretty good and almost rolling over. Ryan and I are tired but good. In her short little 6 weeks of life she's already been to 2 big birthday parties and 2 weddings where mommy was a VIP. Ryan and I are almost finished with her girly baby nursery room (which you'll get all the before and after details of in my next blog post). Ryan goes back to work next week when his maternity time ends. I started working again a few weeks ago. We are looking forward to Ryan's graduation ceremony, his 30th Birthday in Vegas and Evelyn's first family vacation - all in the next month.

Let the good times roll.

My Love - XOXO

Valentine's Day reminds us of the things we hold near and dear to our hearts. As this February 14th approaches I have found myself reflecting on all the beautiful facets of love I feel in my life. The various ways I feel love in my life range from the gigantic chunks of obvious pink diamond rocks, all the way down to the slightest shimmer of a single eye shadow sparkle. Whether big or small, all of the ways love is expressed is meaningful and incomparable to any other feeling.

The largest most obvious pink diamond rock of love in my life is of course my husband Ryan. He is my best friend. He listens to me. He goes out of his way for me. He advises me. He motivates me. He inspires me. He understands me (or at least does a great job pretending to). It's really quite fascinating- The big things he does to make me feel so loved are often expressed by the tiniest of actions. He'll take out the garbage. He'll bring me or make me dinner. He'll pass me a Tums in the middle of the night. He'll drive so I don't have to. He blow dries my hair. He tells me I'm beautiful when I feel disgusting. He acknowledges the work I do and the things I accomplish. By his loving example, he is teaching our son to love, admire and respect me. Yep, Ryan is my very large extravagant - sink straight to the bottom of the ocean  - pink diamond.

My sweet little Elijah-bug. *deep sigh* He is one of the best teachers I've ever had. In a recent Sunday school lesson at church we read in 2nd Nephi Chapter 4. In the beginning we read and discussed how parents are held responsible by God to teach their children, "[...]love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens [...]". -The Family - A Proclamation to the World.  Then a few minutes later we went on in the chapter to discuss how knowing our own shortcomings can lead us to despair but as we recognize the Lords blessings in our lives we can replace despair with hope. And the scripture 2 Nephi 3:13 especially screamed out at me "And out of weakness, he will be made strong [...]". So now you're thinking - okay Sara 2 seconds ago I was reading your blog about loving your son - where the heck are you going with all of this?? Well let me tell you! Here's my thought process behind all this. In the last month Ryan and I have had a super tough time trying to get Elijah to go to sleep at night. We have spent hours each night attempting to reteach him how to go to bed, stay in bed, and fall asleep. It's been excruciatingly difficult for us. We have followed countless pieces of advice to no avail. We go through our standard bedtime routine every night. We have tried adjusting his bedtime hours a few times. We have tried giving him zero attention or interaction while he is inappropriately still awake. We have tried lots of love, discussions, & attention during his tantrums. And we've tried a little of something in between. And I can't even begin to describe the feelings of inadequacy, frustration, anger, then guilt after especially rough nights if I lose my temper. That Sunday school lesson made me realize something incredibly comforting: my son is teaching me to be a better person! Through this experience and time of opposition, I am learning to be more patient. I am learning to try new things and ask others for help. I am learning to be more loving and more compassionate. I am so thankful and fortunate to have Elijah in my life. He shows me he loves me in such sweet innocent ways every day. I love him so much!

Okay now onto the lighter more fluffy loveys in my life! I love my dog Mercedes - she is the best snuggle buddy ever! I love my mom - she is a bit crazy this tax season time of year, but the work ethic and big heart she has toward her clients is inspiring. I love my brother and sister in law - they are so fun to hang out with and it's awesome that they randomly show up on my doorstep for no other purpose than to say hi and to do nothing together. I love my in-laws... they are those people in my life I know I can call at any moment for any reason and they will be there for me if I need them. AND When they're out of town it makes me appreciate them being in town so much more. I love my dad and step mom - what great examples they are to me that you can change anything about yourself if you put your faith in it. I love my extended family and friends - every person and relationship is unique, and every single one shows me love and gives me the opportunity to reciprocate love. I love Jamba juice & Cinnabon - what would I do without you when I'm running late to work and need to redirect my co-workers attention to something more fun than my tardiness? :-) I love photography & Kodak gallery - they provide me so much happiness and endless hours of productive (sometimes wasteful) enjoyment. Since I've been pregnant I also love 7-11 - their Slurpee's make my back-achy-bath time so much more fun! I love decorating things - my house, cookies & cakes, parties, my blog - really doesn't matter what I decorate just as long as I have something to decorate, I am a busy happy girl. I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - so many blessings being part of this church and of course eternal happiness. I love working, shopping, and all things shiny and sparkly.

So there. My Love Love Loves. Happy Valentines Day. What do you love???

XOXO - Sara

Livin la vida loca...

It seems like forever since our little family has had a weekend off without any plans, obligations, or stuff to do. We are livin la vida loca! It's been a great time and all, but I'm really ready for a few weekends full of no to-do lists. We went to some Halloween parties in late October, and had an awesome time trick or treating. We went to Disneyland in the beginning of November, where Ryan and I celebrated 7 years of marriage, and I celebrated the last 20something birthday I will ever have. Last weekend we got my side of the family together for some family photos, attended an engagement party for some good friends, and then yesterday carried out my obligation as the Fanno Creek Ward Relief Society Meeting Coordinator by throwing a festive Holiday dinner and program for the sisters in our church - Here's to "Keeping CHRIST in Christmas". Next up: Ryan's parents return from Africa next week, Thanksgiving dinner, Black friday shopping, and the following week I'll have my gender-revealing ultrasound, followed by a ward Christmas breakfast, and finals week for Ryan. *deep sigh* As I said "livin la vida loca".

So now for some dirty details! The Halloween events we attended included: The Pumpkin Patch on Sauvie Island with the Richmans. Fanno Creek ward halloween party, Horizon Air work halloween party, Griffith Park ward halloween party, and of course Halloween Night trick-or-treating ! The pumpkin patch was super fun. We always get a kick out of watching Elijah interact with his little gal-pal Leah Richman. One minute they're driving each other crazy and the next they're hugging and pulling the other over to play. It was also exciting to see how Elijah acted around the Richman's baby Stacy. He was curious, but cautious. I do wonder how he will do when mommy and daddy are holding another baby all the time in a few months. Should create some interesting times. Anyway the other Halloween parties were all somewhat similar in that we got to see Elijah interact with the other kids. He loves to run and play, but he is clearly not used to sharing "his" toys... or candy. lol. Pumpkin carving didn't go nearly as well as I had hoped. Last year he was all about scooping out the yucky stuff, so I assumed since his dexerity has increased this year he'd be really helpful getting all the goosh out. Not so. He touched it and then put it back making a yucky frowny face. Then went to go find the i-pad to play with. Ryan and I still had a good time carving though.

Halloween night - ha! Who would've thought I would get tired before Elijah!?My back was so sore and I was so cold. Elijah did fantastic though! Everyone thought he was so cute. He always got extra candy. They'd say "just take 2 or 3" and he'd take a huge handful of 5, they'd laugh but frequently didn't move the bowl of candy away fast enough and Elijah would be grabbing another handful.They just thought it was cute. Ryan & I were just embarrassed. oh well. It was a good time, he is still learning, and we still have lots of candy. lol.

Disneyland was awesome. It was the first time we have ever been on a vacation with just our little family of 3. Which was good and bad. Mostly good though. Elijah got to ride most the rides we wanted to. There were only a few we wanted to ride that he couldn't. And since I'm pregnant there were a bunch of rides neither of us could ride so it worked out well. Elijah & I rode the buzz light year ride a few times while Ryan rode the Star Wars ride, and we made it work. We were very disappointed that 2 rides we knew Elijah would love were out of service: Pirates of the Caribbean and Small World. Well I guess we'll have to plan another trip to Disneyland in a few more years. :-) The first day was nice and sunny, the 2nd day was rainy and we seriously considered not going. Decided we didn't care much for California Adventure park. All the good stuff is in the Disneyland Park. It was a fun little trip, but kind of a busy vacation.

Last weekend the family got together for some pictures before we're all grown up & move away. Since Daniel & Katie are considering moving to go to a dental school for Daniel, and Ryan is considering joining the Navy, we thought it would be good to get in a good professional family photo session. It was fun, and we got some really great pictures. I LOVE the ones of Daniel and Katie. They're such beautiful people! Anyway. There were lot's of good / fun ones.

As the Holiday season approaches and since I just finished a whole Christmas program  last night, I have to say how glad I am for the Spirit of Christmas coming our way. Excited for Elijah's little face to light up with joy seeing Christmas lights, and the good times to be had with family and friends. The hope that just maybe our house will see even a dusting (or several inches) of snow. Ryan will be finishing his very last days of school at PSU in early December. I'm so thrilled to get to see more of him again! He is graduating with a Bachelors degree in Science. Then the end of December looks like it will be good happy free time for our family to enjoy each other before the New Year and tax season begins. And that is our crazy life. :-)

Pregnant with Baby # 2 !!!

Ryan & I are expecting another family member! The baby due date is April 17th 2012.Just a few days after tax season deadline day.  So today I am about 11 weeks - 2 months along. Elijah's birthday is April 21st, so I'm really hoping the next baby comes early or maybe a week or two late would be okay too. I'm super excited we are going to have another little one, I just hope the next one is born on their own Birthday, so they don't have to share their special day with anyone else. Also everyone keeps asking if I'd rather a boy or girl. Healthy is my knee jerk response. But really it would be kinda nice and convenient to have another boy since we're already prepared clothing-wise... which of course probably means it's a girl ! LOL.

We had our first ultrasound and doctor appointment in August. We brought Elijah with us and had a super early morning appointment so he was still a bit tired and very snuggley. We pointed to the monitor and said, "Look, see ? There's a baby in mommy's tummy!" and he just stared at my tummy and then stared at the monitor. Then he looked over at the technician and exclaimed, "See it!? Baby in mommy's tummy!" it was super sweet. The technician said the baby has a really good strong heartbeat already, and that I was 7 weeks along at the time (giving us a more accurate due date).

Heartbeats recorded are the little lines at the bottom of this pic

Another question I keep getting asked is, "how are you doing?" Horrible is usually my answer. I know I was sick with Elijah, but I don't remember it being this bad. I feel nausea and light-headed every day for most of the day. It's also been a challenge to find foods I can keep down. I mostly stick to fruit, juice, and pre-natals vitamins. Grocery store shopping sucks because the smells are so disgusting, blended, and yucky! It takes longer to grocery shop because I will go down a few food isles then RUSH over to the laundry detergent isle to escape the horrid food smells. Oh! And I dream crazy dreams every night. Last night we were in a movie theater where we had to pick up our feet because there were Alligators that lived there too so if you didn't want to get bit you had to sit on your feet or something. And then I got up to pee. The next dream I lost Elijah when we went for a walk down the street - I was panicked and couldn't find him anywhere - it was awful. Like I said: CRAZY DREAMS! Ah the joys of pregnancy!

Our next ultra sound is scheduled for October 4th & where we should be able to find out if the baby will have any early detectable problems or issues. I'm excited to see that little baby and how much it's grown / developed by then. I decided to go with a female doctor this time because I've heard male and female doctors treat their patients differently, and I'm kind of curious to know if that's really true or not. So far our new doctor is great - Dr. Brodsky (http://www.whallc.com/find-a-provider/provider-details/Trina_A_Brodsky_MD.aspx). Our last doctor, Anthony Taitano was great too, I'm just curious to see how similar / different the experience is male vs. female.

In other news, Ryan started school this week so our schedules are back to Super-sucky, instead of just sucky. LOL. He seems to like his classes so far, and I'm glad my work schedule works well with his schedule and Ryan's mom is able to watch Elijah a few days a week when we are both at work/school.

We are looking forward to the month of October because we have lots of fun stuff planned. Beginning with General Conference this weekend (check it out at: http://lds.org/general-conference/watch?lang=eng). SO THRILLED! I try to make it a party when we watch / listen. Saturday sessions I usually pull out all my Halloween decorations & decorate while I listen. Sunday sessions Ryan & I like to make it a breakfast-in-bed kind of party with yummy breakfast & snacks for the afternoon as we watch on the internet in our pajamas. Then later in the month Ryan & I have a SPA weekend planned where we will get to have a day off together to relax & get pampered. We will be visiting the pumpkin patch, picking & carving pumpkins, eating corn on the cob & carmel corn - YAY ! Then I have another Relief Society activity to prep for, followed by Halloween parties and Trick or treating! Looking forward to the next few weeks, and of course the next 9 months & beyond ! I'm excited - Can you tell?

Fall Already !?!?

Oh My Goodness! I can't believe it's already fall. My favorite time of year! Full of exciting haunted adventures, and the best food the year has to offer. My mouth is already watering imagining the Buttery Fire Roasted Corn on the cob! Between Back to school shopping, Halloween, and Thanksgiving, life is sweet. 

As a young girl I remember visiting Wheeler Farm in Utah for hayrides, a haunted corn maze, and of course the endless search for the perfect pumpkin. Since Elijah was born I made sure each year to make a trip or two each October to a pumpkin patch. Last year we went to Sauvie Island, which was a big hit! We took a hayride to search and pluck the pumpkins, we took silly photos as a family, we ate fresh corn on the cob and carmel corn it was all dreamy. The place we went also had a large store full of various decorative gourds, fresh veggies, and my favorite: Pumkin Butter Jam! If you haven't been before, or haven't been for a while, I highly reccommend you make visiting a pumpkin patch a #1 priority this fall! It can be an almost spiritual experience if you go near sunset. There is something so magical and awe inspiring about vast areas filled with crops grown with tiny seeds and a lot of faith. Creation is so cool!

As the summer is ending, I thought it might be nice before I get all wrapped up in fall activities to sum up what's been filling our last days of summer. Some of the things filling the free time we've had together includes trips to the zoo, playing at the park, swimming in the backyard and camping.

Getting a family zoo membership has been such a great choice for us. I keep thinking Elijah will get bored of seeing the same animals over and over, but he really seems to enjoy it all. His favorite animal is probably the huge seals. We've been in that cool watery blue room for nearly 30 minutes on some occasions. Which is a really long time for capturing the attention of a two year old ! I think Elijah and I also have more fun when we bring someone with us. Part of our membership includes an extra person for free each time. One day we brought Iverson Poff with us & we all had a blast ! Rode the train, played in the petting zoo, and laughed our way through the park. It was awesome.

On other free days, we  have enjoyed the great outdoors in our own backyard. We got a small cheap pool, and momma got to work on her tan while baby got to splish-splash around in the water. I tried to get us out there around lunch time so we could have a little picnic first, then enjoy some ice cold water in the super duper hot sun. The pool is just big enough for me to lay on a floaty mat and Elijah still has room to play. It was nice to finally have a summer when we didn't have some kind of big backyard makeover project to work on so we could actually just sit out there and enjoy what's there.








On some of our more recent days off together we went camping as a family with Ryan's parents. I've never been to a lot of places in Oregon and decided earlier this summer I'd like to visit some new places. So I reserved a campsite in the Cove at the Palisades campground located in central Oregon about 10 miles away from Madras. A few days before we left I found out there was a big grass fire happening that direction (Warm Springs Reservation Fire) even closing main roads due to fire and smoke. We watched the news carefully and it seemed everything would work out fine. Parts of what we drove through reminded me of the volcanic lava fields we drove through on Kona in Hawaii. Black on one side, and grassy on the other. We also saw and smelled smoke from off in the distance.

The campground was as beautiful and deserty as I had hoped it would be. Unfortunately the campsites were much closer together than I had imagined them to be. Even though I knew it would be more deserty, I kinda thought there would be more bushes and shrubbery around where the tents go. It was just one juniper tree surrounded by 20 feet of dusty dirt and rocks next to the next tree. It was however as close as I had hoped to the lake. From our campsite it took us about 10-15 minutes to walk down to Lake Billy Chinook. It was a beautiful place full of excitement. Grass, trees, several picnic tables, swimming only areas, speed boats and sea-doos whizzing by in the distance, restrooms, and even a volleyball net area. The only small downside was the dog wasn't allowed to be in the swimming area, but we still managed to let Mercedes get wet in the boat-area. My biggest regret? Not bringing a floaty mat or innertube :-( oh well now I know for next time. Ryan's dad did bring his little kayak which we got to take a little paddle in. It was very wobbly (apparently it's more for river rapids than lakes). We all had a good time, and the weather was hot, but the campground had a nice breeze flowing through it even during the hottest parts of the day. Good times had by all.

And now the time has come to say Sayonara to Summer, but it's alright because soon we  will feel the fun of Fall ! Hoping you all had a wonderful fun filled summer. I know our family did, and we are anxiously awaiting the sweets-and-trick-or-treats of Fall. We wish you a fun, happy, fall season!

Part of My Heart is at Grandmas House

Vibrant bright red raspberries freshly plucked from the vine. The taste of the sweet small berries burst around my taste-buds. Daniel and I exchanged smiles as we filled the small green plastic containers overfull of those perfectly ripened raspberries from the yard at Grandma's house. Sure I realized that raspberries grew in other places besides Grandma Frances' house, but none seemed to have the same satisfying flavor of those ones. Perhaps the same could be said for that beautiful old home in the Avenues of Salt Lake City. Sure there are plenty of other houses I've been in, slept at, and lived in - none of those houses have ever compared to Grandma's house. It's funny how a house can become so much a part of who you are and and can so accurately define you & the journey your life has taken you.

The house is located mere minutes away from Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah. Minutes away from the fantastical world I grew up in. With adventures like the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint Visitor Center, the Conference Center, the Beehive House, the Family History Center, Pioneer statues, and beautiful abundant gardens. Horse-drawn carriages, architectural marvels, and even church Prophets can be seen here. Yes this is where I grew up. Saw it, breathed it, lived it. My uncles would take me for walks here and let me climb up on the garden walls. My aunt Kimberly would take me to the temple gates where I requested to see the "pretty ladies" aka - new brides coming out of the temple after getting married. I would gaze at all the "pretty ladies" who seemed to be endless in supply and wearing their beautiful wedding gowns. Then of course there's Grandma Frances who tirelessly and patiently would walk me through the visitors center so I could "listen to the phones". There were several tiny models of the church's history arranged inside small cove rooms that below the glass viewing window had phones where you could pick up and hear all about the stories and history of the church. Not to mention the beautiful White statue of Christ in the huge round shaped room that is painted with a dark night sky full of stars and illustrations of how you might imagine the heavens appeared after creation. Occasionally I'd even go with her to General conference at the tabernacle, where I sat in the noisy kiddy-room and gazed up at the Prophets as they spoke. Such a magical place temple square is.

On the walk home from temple square I still remember Grandma Frances telling me about all the amazing things she remembered about the happenings there. She told me stories like that someone had once tried to break off a piece of the Christ statue (fingers? or toes? i forget which). Or how someone in a helicopter had once tried to steal the large Gold statue of Angel Moroni off the temple. Occasionally I even got to hear about all the crazy things my mom did as a teenager - like jumping out the 2nd story back window of the house to sneak out at night with her brothers and sisters. Or how my uncle Allan married his first wife Brenda at a wedding in the old house. I knew my Grandma, aunts, and uncles loved me so much simply because they spent time with me, and weren't (and still aren't) afraid to tell me their stories and advice from life.

Grandma's house was always filled with love. Even in the worst most debilitating moments of arguing and yelling I remember thinking how much my family must love each other because they took the time to not only make their own opinions unmistakably clear, but also to listen as others rebuked them. It's strange to admit but my heart is filled with joy, love & fondness when I think of those awful yelling matches. Perhaps it was because I was always immune to the disputes. Everyone took much more care not to harshly disagree when I stated my own opinions. Like why it really was okay for me to leave the house with the white fluffy Alaskan dog "Muppy" because I really needed candy from the store down the street and really thought it would be better to not go alone...

There's a wall in Grandma's house full of everyone she loves and holds dear. Filled so full of photos, that she was afraid to let me rearrange them once because there was a chance they might not all make it back up on the wall if the configuration wasn't just right. The living room isn't just full of plants that have accumulated dust since probably before I was born, or of books I read as a small child, or even of all the photos on the wall; but rather it's full of laughter, heated yelling matches, guilt trips, and loads of rolling eyes. Yes part of my heart is in that vaulted ceiling room. Forever painted in a cold icy blue, with puke mustard colored carpets. Yep true love. Sometimes I wonder if maybe my love affair with that house has nothing to do with the current condition of it, but rather the potential it has of someday becoming a beautiful crowning jewel of the neighborhood. Much like the relationships that have transpired throughout the rooms of the house. Every parent to child, sibling to sibling, aunt/uncle to niece/nephew, and grandparent to grandchild relationship has had the potential to become better, improved and more beautiful.

Memories of walks to temple square, beautiful historic neighborhood architecture, walls of photographs, and those sweet red raspberries are just a tiny glimpse into the part of my heart full of love I have for Grandma's house. As we made arrangements for Grandma Frances to move into an assisted living center (hopefully temporarily) I am reminded of how much love I have for that house and for the family it has held for so many years before and during my own existence. It's funny how your heart can become so attached to a building. Nevertheless I will love and treasure that house and all the people associated with it forever.